First of all, I don’t know who “you all” is. But I personally lack the selflessness and discipline to be a nun. I’m just not that kind or loving. I volunteer sporadically but could not devote my career to serving others. Although I recently read about an amazing nun who did and was captivated by her story.

Second of all, who said anything about defining “everything” as rape? I specifically said “ballads do not cause violence.” I’m saying we need to redefine romance so that our “love songs” do not also contribute to (not cause) pervasive rape culture. The collective permissiveness is a Petri dish of entitlement violent people exploit.

Thirdly, I am so, so sorry that sex is not as “interesting” for you as it was during whichever age of moral panic you’re talking about. FFS, stop conflating sex with rape. The whole delineation is consent. And your comment implies that anyone who writes about “crap” is doing so for your entertainment. My main point in balling out Michael Bolton was “let’s stop romanticizing entitlement”. That’s a course-correct, not a moral panic.

I’m not advocating for legislating morality. But I am saying that autonomy is so apparently negotiable that many of our sappy love songs and “romantic” comedies promote men taking what they want. If it annoys you that people don’t want to be burdened with or pressured by the desires of someone they are not attracted to then you might be a part of the problem. And maybe you should rethink calling yourself a Romantic — with either an upper or lower case r. I don’t mean that as antagonistically as it sounds but I don’t think there’s a more diplomatic way to say it. Thank you for your consideration despite your irritation.

Open discussion is always welcome.

twitter @h_m_edwards unsplash @heathermedwards

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