So it seems there are no “bursting out laughing” emojis on Medium. But your partner was absolutely me at my parents’ All. Christmas. Long. when I went home for the holidays.

Every night I’d patiently wait for Jeopardy to come on while my parents watched Rachel — they’re also on a first-name basis with her :) But I just couldn’t stomach the performance. Eventually I just gave up and hid in other rooms until 7.

She’s like a machine designed to elicit human emotion but they dialed up the “anthropomorphic” setting too high. She may have given up impartiality but at least she’s intelligent. In the new norm of “fake news” I’ll take it!